BEGIN HEALING THE SHAME WITHIN
What happens when we silence or shame the victim of abuse is twofold and has compound effects.
Impact on the abuser:
*Empowers the abuser *Allows the abuser to continue the abuse *Creates an environment that encourages abuse *Puts others in jeopardy of being victimized and abused *Releases the abuser of their accountability for their own actions
Impact on the victim:
*Increases victims fear of speaking out *Isolates the victim and increases their sense of shame *Validates their feelings of being unseen/heard *Jeopardizes the victim *Keeps the victim stuck in uncertainty and insecurity *Builds the belief the victim is at fault or unworthy *Increases their sense of distrust of others from your lack of acknowledgment and support
Love does NOT hurt or cause you to constantly question your own sanity.
But ABUSE & MANIPULATION does.
Know the difference.
Begin Healing The Shame Within
You are lovable as is right now. This is exactly what unconditional love is.
Not after you accomplish something. As is meaning along WITH your imperfections.
The whole package is our strengths and weaknesses combined.
Not one of us is perfect, and that is okay, so relax.
Start embracing this truth.
You are lovable as is, period
Begin Healing The Shame Within
Their emotional immaturity is their issue along with their responsibility.
Their inability to control their temper and behavior is their issue and also their responsibility.
Their mistreatment & abuse of you is under THEIR control: it was THEIR choice.
It is up to them to manage their own behavior and actions.
Do you see a pattern here? It is not about you.
Remember they alone are responsible, period. Let's be clear. It's a pretty simple concept.
begin healing the shame within
Silencing and shaming the victim only empowers the abuser. Allowing the abuser free reign to continue the cycle of abuse. This emboldens them and creates an environment to where they can seek out and harm more victims.
BEGIN HEALING THE SHAME WITHIN
Do NOT count on the abuser to stop or change their ways by discontinuing the abuse.
That mindset will keep you in a living hell.
As they gain and benefit from their actions at YOUR expense.
Your pain is their power.
It's when you decide to remove yourself from the equation, then and only then, will that cycle of abuse END for you.
Begin Healing The Shame Within
We need to teach our children how to love themselves. The only way to do this is to lead by example.
Your loving and honoring yourself and holding true to your boundaries show them how to do the same.
beginhealingtheshamewithin.com
Keep your dignity and walk away from their mistreatment and abuse. You are too valuable to tolerate any disrespect, remember that.
Created and written by: Cyndi Leahy
When someone who was abused loses a loved one that was their strength, safe place, and emotional support it shakes their whole foundation to the core.
Losing the one who unconditionally loved you can breed such a sense of uncertainty and insecurity which can compound their grief.
Begin Healing the Shame Within
Created & written by: Cyndi Leahy Beginhealingtheshamewithin.com
"When you embrace & uphold yourself in love and acceptance you have reached the destination that no one else can let you down."
GRACE
BEGIN HEALING THE SHAME WITHIN
Ah yes, the benefits of grace. Why did I fall in love with grace? Because my inner critic can be a harsh cold-hearted B!t(h.
Tearing me apart for every single imperfection.
I needed a reprieve, That's why.
"Emotions of guilt, shame and resentment all point to an underlying need. It is showing you there is a part within you, that is begging for your own attention. Asking you to step up and apply self acceptance and grace."
BEGIN HEALING THE SHAME WITHIN
You got to feel all the feels if you want to fully heal your wounds.
Begin Healing the Shame Within
Do not let your ego and pride get in the way of love. If you do that often enough that unconditional love someone has for you may just wither away. Especially if it is NOT equally given.
As no one is required to love you, especially if you withhold love or do not reciprocate it. Or worse mistreat them in any manner.
Remember unconditional love is a gift and a choice they provide to you out of their kindness and good nature.
And if loving you causes that person to have to sacrific their own dignity and self- love in order to keep the relationship do not be surprised if they reach a breaking point and choose to walk away.
Pay attention to those people who are consistently careless or crass with your feelings. It shows you exactly where you stand with them.
Just because you value them, does not mean they value or respect you.
Examine whom you place in your 1st slot of life.
No longer allow it to be anyone who does not reciprocate your kindness and compassion.
Begin Healing The Shame Within
I Will Love Myself
I will love myself here, I will love myself there, I will love myself EVERYWHERE!
Mistakes and all, I will stand tall.
With my head held high, I kiss my fears and worries goodbye.
I am open to being empowered, so I am no longer needing to cower when in the path of a storm.
I let all the guilt and shame melt, so my inner peace can be felt.
I meet my potential with grace, so I can run the full length of this race.
I leave this empty abyss, so I can now live a life of bliss.
This is my new foundation, allowing this place for my realization.
Created & written by: Cyndi Leahy
BEGIN HEALING THE SHAME WITHIN
Their feelings
Their emotions
Their anger
Their cruelty
Their abuse
Their lack of physical & verbal control
Their bitterness
Their revenge
Their actions
Their responses
ALL HAVE ONE THING IN COMMON.
IT IS THEIR CONSEQUENCES TO PAY. THEY ARE THE ONE TO BE JUDGED AND HELD ACCOUNTABLE HERE,
NOT YOU! TELL ME AGAIN WHAT PART YOU'RE RESPONSIBLE FOR?
I do not regret how I love. However, I do regret my choice in whom I loved. In the end, I would have fared better and saved myself a world of hurt if I would have just kept and applied that love toward myself.
Begin Healing The Shame Within
The abuser is the person who is responsible. The victim is not.
The abuser is the person who made the choice and performed the action or behavior. The victim did not.
Definition of a victim: A person harmed, injured, or killed by ANOTHER person's action.
Tell me again where and how the victim becomes the one responsible?
BEGIN HEALING THE SHAME WITHIN
"The judgements you place upon others only shackles and hinders you. It errodes the bridge to understanding. "