Woman in Plants


What happens when we silence or shame the victim of abuse is twofold and has compound effects.

Impact on the abuser:

*Empowers the abuser *Allows the abuser to continue the abuse *Creates an environment that encourages abuse *Puts others in jeopardy of being victimized and abused *Releases the abuser of their accountability for their own actions

Impact on the victim:

*Increases victims fear of speaking out *Isolates the victim and increases their sense of shame *Validates their feelings of being unseen/heard *Jeopardizes the victim *Keeps the victim stuck in uncertainty and insecurity *Builds the belief the victim is at fault or unworthy *Increases their sense of distrust of others from your lack of acknowledgment and support


Love does NOT hurt or cause you to constantly question your own sanity. 


Know the difference.

Begin Healing The Shame Within


You are lovable as is right now. This is exactly what unconditional love is. 
Not after you accomplish something. As is meaning along WITH your imperfections. 
The whole package is our strengths and weaknesses combined. 
Not one of us is perfect, and that is okay, so relax. 
Start embracing this truth.

You are lovable as is, period

Begin Healing The Shame Within

Green Leaf

Their emotional immaturity is their issue along with their responsibility.

Their inability to control their temper and behavior is their issue and also their responsibility.

Their mistreatment & abuse of you is under THEIR control: it was THEIR choice.

It is up to them to manage their own behavior and actions.

Do you see a pattern here? It is not about you.

Remember they alone are responsible, period. Let's be clear. It's a pretty simple concept.

begin healing the shame within


Silencing and shaming the victim only empowers the abuser. Allowing the abuser free reign to continue the cycle of abuse. This emboldens them and creates an environment to where they can seek out and harm more victims.



Do NOT count on the abuser to stop or change their ways by discontinuing the abuse. 
That mindset will keep you in a living hell. 
As they gain and benefit from their actions at YOUR expense. 
Your pain is their power. 
It's when you decide to remove yourself from the equation, then and only then, will that cycle of abuse END for you.

Begin Healing The Shame Within


We need to teach our children how to love themselves. The only way to do this is to lead by example. 

Your loving and honoring yourself and holding true to your boundaries show them how to do the same.  


Lone Walk

Keep your dignity and walk away from their mistreatment and abuse. You are too valuable to tolerate any disrespect, remember that.

Created and written by: Cyndi Leahy


When someone who was abused loses a loved one that was their strength, safe place, and emotional support it shakes their whole foundation to the core.

Losing the one who unconditionally loved you can breed such a sense of uncertainty and insecurity which can compound their grief.

Begin Healing the Shame Within


Created & written by: Cyndi Leahy Beginhealingtheshamewithin.com

"When you embrace & uphold yourself in love and acceptance you have reached the destination that no one else can let you down."




Ah yes, the benefits of grace. Why did I fall in love with grace? Because my inner critic can be a harsh cold-hearted B!t(h.

Tearing me apart for every single imperfection.

I needed a reprieve, That's why.


"Emotions of guilt, shame and resentment all point to an underlying need. It is showing you there is a part within you, that is begging for your own attention.  Asking you to step up and apply self acceptance and grace."



You got to feel all the feels if you want to fully heal your wounds.


Begin Healing the Shame Within

Do not let your ego and pride get in the way of love.  If you do that often enough that unconditional love someone has for you may just wither away. Especially if it is NOT equally given.

As no one is required to love you, especially if you withhold love or do not reciprocate it.  Or worse mistreat them in any manner.

Remember unconditional love is a gift and a choice they provide to you out of their kindness and good nature.

And if loving you causes that person to have to sacrific their own dignity and self- love in order to keep the relationship do not be surprised if they reach a breaking point and choose to walk away. 


Pay attention to those people who are consistently careless or crass with your feelings.  It shows you exactly where you stand with them.  
Just because you value them, does not mean they value or respect you. 
Examine whom you place in your 1st slot of life. 
No longer allow it to be anyone who does not reciprocate your kindness and compassion.

Begin Healing The Shame Within


                I Will Love Myself

I will love myself here, I will love myself there, I will love myself EVERYWHERE!

Mistakes and all, I will stand tall.
With my head held high, I kiss my fears and worries goodbye.

I am open to being empowered, so I am no longer needing to cower when in the path of a storm.

I let all the guilt and shame melt, so my inner peace can be felt.